How To Talk To Girls Even if You’re NERVOUS – MUST WATCH


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We’ve all been there before: seeing a gorgeous girl, and wanting to say hi and introduce yourself. Yet for some reason – you simply can’t. The nervousness, the anxiety leaves you mentally crippled as you search for the balls to say something, and the words for what you’d even say.

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I have this super vivid memory from college it was probably one of my most embarrassing moments something I look back on and cringe at pretty hard I was a freshman at the time and it was like the second week of the semester or something like that walking into my economics lecture I sit down then immediately notice this super cute girl sitting across from me let’s just say she was quite distracting whenever I tried taking notes totally my type I remember looking over at her and saw she happened to catch my gaze we held eye contact for a split second and to my surprise she smiled back at me wow she smiled at me I had to say something to her I thought she wasn’t sitting too far away where she couldn’t hear me so all I would have had to do was open my mouth and say something she’d occasionally look at my direction then subtly kind of look away it was pretty clear to me now that she was open to talking to me I’m gonna do it now I thought to myself 30 seconds passed by and I just couldn’t muster up the courage to do so come on all you have to do is say what’s up and be chill I opened my mouth to say something but I just couldn’t the anxiety was gnawing away at me for some reason all these weird random insecurities would pop in my head and I just all of a sudden felt really nervous my stomach all in a knot damn I want to say something to her so bad but I don’t know why I just can I’m just too nervous I decide to not say anything and just try focusing on the lesson for the remainder of the class feeling embarrassed and defeated fast forward a week later in class I once again sit in the same spot across from her and again I caught her looking in my direction from time to time she’d smile and even position her body towards me I was sure this time I’d finally say something I scoured my mind for the perfect witty one-liner to say but lo and behold two minutes later the butterflies in my stomach felt like knots my heart started beating faster the anxiety the nervousness was added once again what if I say something stupid or she rejects me in front of everyone I think we make eye contact again and she smiles but I quickly look away and don’t say anything that was the second time I was thought of talking to her essentially ignoring her after class I knew this couldn’t happen again I made a deal with myself that night that no matter what the next time I saw her I was gonna introduce myself I even promised my roommate that if I didn’t I’d have to give him 50 bucks a few days later I bump into the same girl again at our school library damn she looks good I thought looking at her slender legs after a split second I finally worked up the nerve to say something hey I’m the gentleman’s game I think you’re in my economics class she looked up immediately recognized me and gave me a faint smile and said oh hey I’m Sophia and then turned around and walked away kind of uncomfortably I was left there just kind of confused and embarrassed about the whole thing a few years later I eventually found out from one of her friends that she did think I was cute the first day she saw me and Ashley wanted me to talk to her but after I seemed to ignore her twice when she gave me signs she took it as a message that I simply wasn’t interested or worse yet rude so even when I finally did get the courage to approach her she had already made up her mind about me that I wasn’t into her and even if I was I wasn’t man enough to let her know having much more life experience now whenever I think back to that whole ordeal I immediately cringe and think wow it was so obvious that she was into me at the time what the hell was wrong with me why didn’t I make a move why was I so nervous and the truth is most guys can probably relate to my story the feeling of anxiety of nervousness that just leaves you paralyzed whenever you try saying hi to a cute girl so for that reason I’m gonna share with you guys a huge tip to get out of your head and talk to girls even if you’re 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feeling the anxiety the fear the excuses you tell yourself all acting to hold you back even to this day for example I’ll admit sometimes I can still feel a bit nervous right before approaching a hot girl but what I immediately do when this happens is to separate the fear from the action I know I have to take and to always be moving towards the right action regardless of all these scary thoughts going through my mind and to be honest this is just a general life philosophy that I have to always try doing the thing I know it should be even though I really don’t want to like for example whenever I wake up after I brush my teeth and wash my face I’ll jump in a ice-cold shower I never want to do it I always have a feeling of dread knowing that the second I step into the ice water it’ll be the most uncomfortable experience in the world until my body adapts but I know it’s the right action to take and so I do it anyways and even though it is painful for a few seconds eventually it’s not that bad and then after a few more seconds it actually feels thrilling like you can feel every pore on your skin activating and revitalized and almost every time I step out of my morning cold shower I feel almost invincible alert and full of energy ready to tackle the day I never regret doing a cold shower just like I never regret talking to a girl even though I may feel nervous right before so now the question is how do you always choose to commit to the right action instead of falling victim to your negative emotions and the short answer is killed the root meaning before you even have time to feel nervous just force yourself to do it anyways here’s what I mean when you see an attractive girl you want to say hi to the next few seconds are critical because with each second of an action that passes by more and more negative thoughts are going to keep entering your head the moment you hesitate from doing the right action you already started a cycle of oh she’s cute but she probably has a boyfriend well she probably wouldn’t even like me I’m not dressed well today maybe I should just keep walking and pretend I don’t see her and again the longer you wait the harder it becomes you’ve chosen to stay in your head psyching yourself out instead of just doing it so kill the root before it even happens don’t want to jump in the cold shower boom jump in anyways don’t want to talk to that cute girl boom do the right action and say hi anyways don’t even give yourself time to indulge in those nervous thoughts because let’s be real the more time you spend thinking man should I approach the less likely it is of happening so just don’t even let yourself indulge in those thoughts just literally do it honestly a lot of it is willpower a year ago when I started my cold shower routine I try my best to jump in right away to take the right action only to hesitate cuz of that feeling of dread and nervousness but after a few weeks of practice I eventually cultivated my willpower to the point where I could just take the right action and kill the root of my negative mental loop it just takes practice of constantly forcing yourself into unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory after more and more exposure of talking to girls when you really don’t feel like it eventually won’t seem like a big deal just another conversation the reason I use the cold shower analogy is that it’s similar to approaching girls in that during those first few seconds of forcing yourself to take the right action it’s gonna feel really bad and uncomfortable those first awkward 15 seconds after saying hi to a random cute girl can be super painful believe me I know I’ve been there but take my word that again with practice you’ll gain the ability to plow through and carry a great conversation despite those initial jitters those thoughts you might get of oh now I feel like I’m bothering her oh there’s a so awkward or whatever else negative thoughts goes through your head so here’s something you can do to practice this the next time you really don’t want to do something anything that you know you should be doing whether it’s waking up early at 7:00 a.m. or going to the gym for a hard workout session immediately kill the root of those negative emotions stop thinking and simply take the right action once you start programming your brain to take the right action even when you feel anxious or nervous then it’ll be easy talking to a cute girl even when you’re feeling nervous eventually this will be a habit and even though you’ll probably still feel nervous seeing a beautiful girl you want to meet it won’t be a big deal and you’ll be able to act regardless that’s it for the video and to summarize today we talked about a quick mental exercise you can use to approach girls when you’re feeling nervous which is short-circuiting those negative emotions by immediately taking the right action this is something you can carry over to pretty much every other aspect of life and the more you practice forcing yourself to get out of your head and take the right action the more success you’ll have with girls as always make sure to sign up below for my free five page PDF about the fundamentals of attraction and feel free to follow me on Instagram next video will be the next installment.

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