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Today we’re going to talk about how to keep a girl hooked on to you but first if you want my free five-page pdf on the fundamentals of attraction check it out in the description box below so about four years ago i met a girl v at a dinner gathering who i quickly became infatuated with like throughout random moments of the day i’d catch myself wondering about what she was doing and if i could do anything to make her reciprocate my feelings for her if you had asked me back then why i was so into v i would have given you a typical response like she’s cute i like her vibe and her demeanor more general things like that but now that i’m able to look back on those months with a more objective view it’s clear to me that the main reason i was so hooked onto this girl was because she helped me discover a part of myself that i wasn’t even aware of let me explain when i first met v i learned that she was an aspiring dancer growing up in a foreign land she was mesmerized by american music and culture especially music videos to the point where she decided at a young age that she was going to be a backup dancer or to find some career in dancing now growing up you know i liked singing even though i wasn’t the best at it i knew how to play the guitar a little but not much other musical talent otherwise dancing was always one of those things i was never interested in i thought it was either for girls or required an insane amount of athletic ability like those b-boys who can do handstands on a single hand so i just thought that i could never do stuff like that so v heard all this and she invited me to a dance competition that she was participating in granted i had never been to one before nor really had a clue of what to expect to be honest at the time i wasn’t super enthusiastic but i still thought she was pretty cute so i decided to go check it out anyways well that day turned out to be one of the most memorable ones in my life the sheer talent i saw that day was so inspiring in a way i couldn’t explain seeing a diverse group of people engage in dance battles or watching 45 year old veterans teach hip-hop choreography and still moving like they were in their 20s it was something new it was something exciting it spoke to me in a way that i really didn’t expect that it would and then finally when i got to see v perform her routine with someone moving her body in this fascinating coordinated way all of a sudden it made me realize that i really like dance and that night i was on youtube trying to learn random dance moves and to this day even though i haven’t gone to an official dance studio or something like that but sometimes when i’m bored i’ll just throw on a nice song to vibe to and i’ll just start freestyling whatever dance moves come to mind i’m sure i look silly half the time but i really do find it fun and it’s great for exercise needless to say after v showed me a whole new world of dance i really started to fall for her it was like my brain associated this self-discovery of loving dance to her since she was the one who initially showed it to me i was so persistent in trying to win her over that eventually she gave in and we dated for about half a year before we mutually decided to break it off i know this was a long-winded story but the lesson that i got out of it was that one of the easiest ways to get someone hooked onto you is to make them realize something about themselves that they didn’t even know when you can successfully help someone on their path to self-discovery they’ll be forever grateful to you better yet they might get the sense that you’re special that you showing up in their life was destiny in a way the narratives that people tell themselves when someone else has helped them in their self-discovery is powerful and intoxicating eventually it makes people fall in love with you hooked onto you like a drug now i know some of you listening to this right now might be thinking hmm sounds cool in theory and all but how do i actually apply this to a girl that i like well i’ll give you three different examples of ways you can apply this idea of helping a girl with self-discovery so the first way is pretty much what i experienced discovering a new passion for some sort of hobby or activity so in my case she helped me realize how much i appreciate dancing which in turn made me associate those new feelings of excitement and passion with her so if you want to effectively accomplish this you need to be present enough with her to understand the gist of who she is and the kind of things that she’s into so listen to her get a read of her blueprint what does she do for fun how does she like to spend her time based on the answers of these kind of questions you can probably guess what other stuff she might like for example if you know this girl is super into horoscopes and spirituality and all of that stuff but she’s never heard of a tarot card before maybe do some research on it and show it to her if she discovers for herself how cool tarot cards are and gets into it as a whole new hobby then all of a sudden you’ve introduced her to a new passion and again she’ll associate those positive exciting feelings from discovering something new with you and get hooked as a result the second way you can help someone discover something about themselves is to alter her perspective on something that’s important to her it can be about the way she views herself or can be about the world itself the thing is reality is oftentimes a lot more subjective than we like to admit a good analogy i like to use is with the three blind men in a room with an elephant right one of them is touching the trunk the other one is touching the nose and the last blind man is touching the rough hide so each of these three blind men have their own unique perspective on what an elephant is right bringing this back to the topic a lot of girls have negative perspective about things maybe she has a low self-esteem because she used to be made fun of a lot by other girls in school maybe she feels like she can’t trust anyone because of her abandonment issues maybe she feels like life is a joke because of how hard she’s struggling at the moment with school and or her job whatever this negative disillusioned perspective she has is identify it and then help her see things in a different way a viewpoint that’s more optimistic and positive i’ll tell you a story about this to drive the point home more you know i once knew this girl ashley who i met at a social function during university i had feelings for another girl at the time so i viewed ashley strictly as a friend but we got along pretty well we had classes together so we became pretty regular study buddies one day in an attempt to make conversation i asked her about her family life if she had siblings etc she told me she had a younger brother however after we talked about it some more she admitted that she had this overbearing sense of guilt because growing up she didn’t really make an effort to be close with him she felt like she was a bad person because she wasn’t the loving older sister who acted as a guide for her younger brother she explained that growing up she was always entangled in her studies and preferred hanging out with her friends then her brother so now they didn’t talk much and they weren’t very close and the more she spoke about this the more i realized that this was clearly something that affected her self-esteem that she felt like she was unworthy of love because of her blaming herself for not being closer with her brother and i empathize with her too cause i actually have a sister myself that i used to bully a little bit from time to time when we were kids i never really invited her to hang out with me and my friends so growing up we weren’t super close so i explained to ashley that even though me and my sister weren’t really close as kids we were much closer now as adults right i told her that it’s never too late to start a relationship with a sibling since you’re always going to be connected to them by blood i encourage ashley to hit up her brother through text just to check up on him especially if it was eating away at her self-esteem by not talking to him she took my advice and over the period of the next few weeks she told me that her and her brother was starting to become a bit closer right and the other day she even got on a phone call just to chat with him the next time i saw her was at a party where she was thanking me like crazy for helping her change her perspective on the situation and as she was kind of showing her gratitude to me she kept staring at me then leaned in and tried to kiss me you know unfortunately i told her i didn’t feel that way i really was just trying to help her she was a little bit embarrassed by it but kept her cool over the next few weeks ashley would constantly be asking me when the next time we were gonna hang out was you know she would send me little memes and stuff and she would even text me good morning often you know eventually i just had to tell her that i wasn’t into her like that which again she surprisingly took well but the point remains that by switching her negative perspective of herself and helping her see things differently to take action i made her hooked onto me right by shifting her paradigm i made her associate me with hope happiness and eventually attractiveness the third example of helping someone realize something about themselves is with life goals and aspirations this one is pretty straightforward basically you’re just trying to help them discover things that they want to aspire towards helping her realize a new life goal whether it’s wanting to travel the world publish a book or move to california is especially powerful because it really makes you a part of her identity especially if you frame it in a way where maybe you’re gonna actually help her make her new goal a reality you know for example with the traveling example if you do or say something that all of a sudden makes her realize that spending six months in europe is now something that she absolutely needs to put on her bucket list that’s great but if you can also hint or suggest that maybe you’ll even meet up with her there or something then all of a sudden you’re associating yourself with her goals with her dreams and that is very powerful on a subconscious level right it makes people and especially girls absolutely crazy for you and want to chase you right so a good way to help girls realize new life goals or dreams they can aspire to is simply by talking about stuff you’re passionate about whether it’s hobbies your own goals things on your bucket list etc the more passionate you are about something the greater likelihood you’ll inspire her to want to have that as a life goal as well you know also be a good observer for her body language when you talk about her golden stuff is she interested right does her eyes widen does she smile or is she leaning in right does she seem mesmerized by what you have to say if yes then ask her about it right suggest it to her like yo you should do it too i feel like you’d really enjoy it in a casual way if you do this effectively you’re bound to eventually strike a chord with her and make her have a new life goal or dream that she can work towards right so to summarize today’s video today we talked about the biggest way you can keep a girl hooked onto you which is to make her realize something about herself that she wasn’t even aware of three examples of this are discovering a passion or hobby helping her change her perspective on a negative thing about herself and helping her discover a new life goal or dream that’s it for the video next week.