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Dear Dr. Romance: I Want The Playgirl, But They Like The “Bad Boy” Type
Dear Dr. Romance: This is something that’s puzzling me for along time. I often do want the “playgirl”, but they like the more of the “bad boy” type.
Gentlemen’s game here a lot of guys get told that in order to get a girlfriend or attract more women they should just be themselves and i’m sorry to tell you that this isn’t necessarily good advice i mean are you really gonna tell the 38 year old unemployed guy living in his mom’s basement and spends all his time watching porn and playing video games that he should just be himself in order to get a girl no you would tell him that he needs to get his act together and focus on being an attractive high-value man before he should even worry about finding a girl so with that being said here are five common behaviors that the majority of these kinds of high-value men have i think that a lot of them are good qualities to have in general not just for being attractive to women so if you feel like you lack any of the ones i’m gonna list see how you can work on improving this quality within yourself but first if you want my free 5 page pdf on the fundamentals of attraction check out the link in the description box below alright now let’s get on to the video number one being on your purpose i want you to think about the following question how often do you spend time thinking about what’s most important to you your sense of purpose do you even feel like you have a purpose or goals you’re working towards or do you kind of just coast through life reacting to what happens to you instead of taking initiative you see almost all women want a man who has a strong sense of purpose he’s working towards and yes that can mean building a seven figure business and becoming rich but it can also mean you feeling like your purpose in life is to help animals so you spend a lot of time volunteering at some wildlife conservation center see when you don’t have purpose you’re a lot more likely to become needy with women since you don’t have anything going on in your life you’re gonna make her the center of your life she’ll sense that low value behavior like you have way too much time and energy on your hands and you’re pouring it all on her and she’ll be massively turned off by it on the other hand when you do have a strong sense of purpose like a career you’re passionate about or a social cause that you’re involved in and you know what you want out of life and you’re on that path to fulfilling your purpose you’ll start to treat your time as valuable right you won’t have the mental capacity or the time to be needy with any girl since you have other important things going on that demand your attention and time and of course i’m not suggesting that you be so on your purpose that you don’t actually get to spend time with her balance is key of course but having a healthy sense of purpose will make you more confident and centered in yourself something that women love in men number two competence so i chose to include this one right after number one having purpose because it’s a bit related but not necessarily the same thing right well having purpose is knowing the direction in your life that you’re headed towards having competence means you’ll actually figure out a way to get there competence means you have basic problem solving skills like you can take charge of a situation and not screw it up i see many guys that have these ambitious goals that they work towards like being a millionaire but sadly they lack the competence to actually achieve that goal you see it’s not very hard to be within the top 15 percent of men you know why because on average most guys aren’t extremely competent most people in general i’d argue aren’t very diligent or have fortitude and grit when they face adversity and the reason they lack this competence is because they don’t even care to improve themselves you know good news however the fact that you’re watching the video right now tells me you at least have the mindset of trying to better yourself and achieving your goals so chances are you have competence and women are pretty much universally attracted to competent men i mean think about it from her perspective right 1 000 years ago women couldn’t vote right they couldn’t own land they couldn’t hold any positions of power or own real businesses so if a woman wanted to better her life what could she do well she pretty much had two choices number one she could marry into wealth or power meaning the duke the prince the lord whatever high noble positions there were or number two if she had to marry someone from her local village she wanted to make sure he was competent that he could figure things out and get things done so that he could provide her and her children with a better life right and women have carried this mentality as a part of their female psychology for the hundreds of years since then meaning that to this day they want to meet and date a man who can demonstrate he’s got a good head on his shoulders that he’s competent enough to achieve his goals as a high value man number three establishing boundaries so one time i remember asking one of my exes when was the moment she knew she wanted me and she gave me quite an interesting answer actually she replied that on her first date she didn’t know me that well yet and she was a bit nervous so she kept texting her friend while we were eating and one thing she noticed i did that made me stand out was to kind of call her out on it in a teasing way i didn’t raise my voice or anything but i think i said something along the lines of oh hey you might not texting while we’re on the date just a bit rude very simple and to be honest i wasn’t even aware that she found that attractive i just said that to reinforce my boundaries of being considerate towards my time she told me that she’s done that before on other dates but she never got called out on it and you know it’s funny you’d think that by calling her out on being rude on a date it would upset her or get her defensive but in fact the opposite happened she respected and really liked the fact that i was able to calmly get my point across without being overly aggressive you see when you establish boundaries you let the other person know that you value yourself that you have a spine and when you carry yourself with that self-respect women will pick up on it and subconsciously find you to be high value establishing your boundaries tells women that you have a clear idea of what you accept and what you don’t accept from other people and when women sense that you’re the type to stand up for yourself when someone crosses your boundaries they find it very attractive because if you can stand up to her then it tells her that you’d also stand up for her if someone were to try and harm her or screw her over so definitely make it a habit of establishing your boundaries number four understanding nonverbal cues one thing i noticed a lot of guys struggle with when it comes to flirting with women is understanding their body language and i realize that’s cause most men are more concerned with the surface level stuff the words being said between you and her rather than the underlying vibe you see over 60 percent of human communication is done non-verbally the way she looks at you how much she’s leaning into your space the tone of her voice whether it’s inviting or standoffish all of these are examples of non-verbal ways that girls also let you know how she feels about you and if you can pick up on these nonverbal cues you can calibrate to however she’s feeling in the moment if she’s disinterested you can pull back a bit as well and if she’s being a bit flirtier you’ll know to make a move a man who understands how to read nonverbal cues is to women very sexy because he’s a guy who gets it it’s almost like that james bond quality where you can read a girl’s mind and know exactly what to do and when to do it to get her going crazy for you for example let’s say a girl you’ve been flirting with kinda smiles looks at you in the eye and says oh so you wanted to dance with me well what makes you think i’m just gonna let you dance with me now a guy who doesn’t understand how to pick up on nonverbal cues we’ll take these words literally he’ll think oh damn maybe i should stop looks like she doesn’t want to dance instead of looking at her body language but a man who does understand her nonverbal cues however will realize oh she’s just saying that as a little test but i think we both know she wants to dance with me just as much as i want to dance with her and she’ll proceed to make a move anyways that’s the difference between a man who does and who doesn’t know how to read body language number five cultivating a man-to-woman mindset another thing i notice a lot of guys have problems with nowadays is with being comfortable in their masculinity when they talk to girls they give off way too much of a friendly platonic vibe instead of a flirty man-to-woman vibe and this is the biggest reason why men end up in the friend zone because they’re too hesitant with letting their masculine energy shine through in their interactions instead they play it safe and act friendly with the woman that they like and then all of a sudden they’ll ask for a date or a number out of nowhere and of course 9 times out of 10 the girl will reject him because she’ll be completely blindsided by it after all why would a girl go on a date with you if she didn’t even know you guys were flirting in the first place so the next time you find yourself with the girl you’re really into practice cultivating a man to woman vibe learn how to flirt both with your words and with your body language and over time you’ll naturally be used to being in your masculine when girls meet a guy that’s comfortable with showing this part of himself she’ll naturally want to be more feminine around him because it’s like yin and yang masculine will attract feminine whereas a neutral friend zone vibe will attract the same thing so those are 5 examples of different behaviors that make you extremely attractive to women to recap they are being on your purpose having competence establishing boundaries understanding nonverbal cues and cultivating a man to woman mindset that’s it for the video and as always thanks for watching if you enjoyed today’s episode do me a favor and drop a like as it really helps out the channel next week i have a special video planned so make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell and as always peace.