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Today we’re discussing 3 methods you can use to instantly become more charming.
The Gentlemen’s Game is a weekly animated bits of the best men’s dating advice gathered onto a single channel. Look for visually engaging whiteboard animation style videos on seduction, attraction, gender/social dynamics, personal psychology and much more.
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Let me ask you a question have you ever met or known someone who just managed to make you feel good like just their presence alone would fill the people around them with pleasure and comfort people like that who seem to understand your spirit feel your pain adapt to your moods and make you feel better about yourself is what robert greene categorizes as the seventh type of seducer in his art of seduction book the charmer by the way if you haven’t seen the rest of the art of seduction series yet check that out here so what are common characteristics of charmers and what are some specific strategies you can use to charm anyone the word charm comes from the latin root carmen which means song but also implies like the casting of a magical spell which makes sense you see when you successfully charm someone it really is like them falling under a spell charmers are able to hold their targets attention and fascinate them they never argue or complain instead they draw others in making people emotionally dependent charmers do this by catering to a person’s ego their self-esteem there’s a quote somewhere that reads talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours the charmer doesn’t go overboard with this however since that would be too obvious he’s more like a beam of light that doesn’t shine directly on someone but throws a pleasant little glow over them so here are three specific strategies you can use to tap into your inner charmer and seduce almost anyone or any girl so number one is to be a source of pleasure by making her the center of attention guys who have lots of charm know how to deflect attention away from themselves and focus it on others instead they’re good listeners and observers they let their targets talk revealing more about themselves in the process and as charmers find out more about their strengths and their weaknesses they individualize their attention to appeal to that specific person’s desires and needs a charmer listens to someone’s complaints but more importantly distracts them from their problems by giving pleasure he knows that being energetic lighthearted and fun is always more charming than being serious or critical the charmer tailors his compliments to the person’s insecurities he adapts to their spirit and empathizes with their woes to make them feel bigger and better and validating their sense of self-worth he makes them feel like the star of the show an example of a charmer who mastered this ability to make others into the center of attention was benjamin disraeli who became prime minister of england in 1874. at the time queen victoria was depressed and withdrawn having lost her husband a few years ago everyone around her made her feel like she was either too inexperienced or uneducated to do anything without her husband’s advice plus politics bored her to death as tradition demanded after coming into power as the prime minister israeli came to the palace for a private meeting with the queen benjamin israeli didn’t have the typical look of a prime minister he was jewish had dark skin and was pretty exotic looking by english standards he had written a few popular romantic novels as well the queen on the other hand was formal and simple in her dressing style desrarly was advised to curb his natural elegance but instead he did the exact opposite he appeared before her almost like a prince falling to one knee taking her hand and kissing it he pledged that his job now was to realize queen victoria’s dreams he praised her qualities so much that she ended up blushing and yet she didn’t find any of this behavior to be offensive instead she was smiling afterwards maybe i should give this strange man a chance she thought soon he began sending her reports on policy issues parliament debates etc he wrote the reports in such an informal flowery language addressing her as fairy queen for example that victoria was enchanted she read his reports voraciously and her interest in politics grew again this rarely would send her his novels as a gift and when she presented him with a book she had written he started tossing out the phrase we authors to describe him and her this will make queen victoria beam with pride she would overhear him praising her ideas and her feminine instincts to others comparing her to the great elizabeth the first he rarely disagreed with her in fact he would ask her for advice during meetings with other ministers he slowly built up her confidence eventually she had grown so dependent on those positive feelings he gave her that she elevated his rank to earl of beacon’s field which was his lifelong dream you see benjamin could sense deep down that queen victoria was warm affectionate even sexual instead of the cold sober exterior she portrayed he flattered her ego making her feel desirable and intelligent making her the center of attention and that is the key to charm really feeding what’s been repressed or denied by indulging the queen does rarely made himself a source of pleasure indulgence is a powerful tool of seduction because it’s hard to be angry or defensive with someone who seems to agree with your opinions and tastes number two lulling them into ease and comfort charm is almost like a hypnotist trick where he swings a watch in front of your eyes the more relaxed someone is the easier it is to charm them the key to making your target feel comfortable is to mirror her adapting to her moods people are naturally narcissistic they’re drawn to those who are most similar to themselves if you seem to share her values and tastes to understand their spirit they’ll fall under your spell and your charm for example let’s say you’re an outsider traveling to a different country and you meet a girl if you go out of your way to show her that you share her values maybe you learn their language engage in their customs it’s immensely charming because this preference is a choice not something you were born into i actually have a story from a few years back of me having to charm my way out of a situation by making them feel comfortable i was backpacking in a foreign country in asia after having just quit my first job out of school it was always a dream of mine to solo travel and i was finally doing it another thing on my bucket list that i never got a chance to do was to ride a motorbike at top speed along like a roadside of a mountain so the first thing i did after getting off the 4-hour bus ride arriving to my hotel was to rent a motorbike from the local rental shop it took me a day practicing learning how to ride the motorized scooter before i felt confident enough to take it for a spin around the village and eventually the nearest mountain things were going great i was having so much fun wind blasting through my visor and then boom i was struck from behind by another local on a motorbike i immediately fell off my bike twisting my ankle apparently i wasn’t following the rules of the road and switched lanes when it wasn’t right to do so fortunately she wasn’t going at top speed so i didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries what did suck however was that the local lady started yelling at me in the middle of the road her bike had small chip damage and she demanded i pay for her repairs or she’d call the police i knew this was kind of a scam because there’s no way the small damage i caused equaled the outrageous sum she was demanding so i started complimenting the woman on her bike driving skills i told her if she had accelerated even faster into the crash i could have been seriously injured i thanked her in her native language i also offered to buy her the most well-known national dish for dinner at the fancy local seafood restaurant i said sorry too in her language and kind of exaggerated the pain in my twisted ankle to get some sympathy points she eventually accepted the equivalent of 17 usd as a payment for her troubles which was a fraction of what she was asking for before and she even did me the favor of driving me to the local hospital where i could get my ankle wrap and get a crutch to use temporarily she went from an angry screecher to an understanding sweetheart in less than two minutes looking back on it i realized that i made her feel comfortable by paying her respect i charmed my way out of the situation by making the lady feel sorry for my injury even by showing a bit of humility and for praising her driving skills and apologizing for switching lanes wrong i didn’t argue back with her or did i let my anger get the best of me i was completely non-threatening letting her keep her dignity which softened her up i lulled her into ease and comfort number three staying calm in the face of adversity charming people never seem too emotionally flustered about anything they always seem to exude this calm centered energy you see when there’s adversity and setbacks that’s actually the perfect setting for charm showing a calm unbothered exterior in the face of difficulties puts people at ease you seem like a patient competent person almost like you’re waiting for destiny to deal you a better hand or as if you were confident you could solve the issue yourself never show anger of course ill-temper or vengefulness all those disruptive emotions will make people defensive when you’re trying to charm a large group welcome adversity as a chance to show how charming poise can be never whine never complain and never try to justify yourself in a sticky situation you can let other people get flustered or upset the contrast to your calmness and poise will work to your favor two years ago i was out in florida for a vacation with a girl i was dating at the time who we’ll call b we decided to go hiking in the woods carrying some gear but we quickly became lost once we ventured off the trail we were by ourselves there was no cell phone signal and to make things worse we even forgot to bring the map from the trunk of the car b quickly began to panic she was one of those anxious types that really didn’t handle situations like that well where things weren’t certain it was getting darker and she was really starting to freak out saying stuff like oh my god what are we gonna do i knew i had to be the rational one so i just backtracked using some visual markers that i memorized i kept assuring her the whole time telling her yo it’s all good don’t worry we’ll be fine we didn’t even venture in that deep we’re not far away from someone i know where i’m going and stuff like that eventually we bumped into a group of people who kindly pointed us toward the main trail we safely arrived to the exit and everything was fine and for the rest of the trip bee acted super affectionate towards me i could tell she really appreciated the way i stayed calm throughout the whole ordeal and never freaked out or gotten angry or defensive she said it was one of the most charming things about me that i quote unquote always seemed to know what to do even though this wasn’t the case i just made her feel that way with my relaxed demeanor so to summarize today we talked about the seventh type of seducer in robert green’s the art of seduction we also discussed three specific strategies you can use to instantly be more charming around anyone and any girl which are number one being a source of pleasure by making her the center of attention number two lulling them into ease on comfort and number three staying calm in the face of adversity that’s it for the video and as always if you want my free 5 page pdf or want to follow me on instagram check the links in the description box below if you enjoyed this video do me a favor and give it a thumbs up and leave a comment next week i have a great video planned for you guys on texting and online games so make sure to subscribe and as always peace out.